Jun 7, 2008


My Hope necklace.

This is Hope's rose bush.

In my mind, the one we lost is named Hope. I don't really know why. When I was pregnant with her (in my mind it's also a girl for some reason), I acquired a necklace that said Hope on it with a yellow diamond on it. When I was miscarrying, I had hope that she might make it, and now I have the hope of seeing her again and discovering who she is in heaven someday. So Hope seems to fit. Today I bought a white rose and planted it for her under my kitchen window. Something to prove that she was here, important, and not forgotten. The color white seemed appropriate for someone so innocent and pure. I didn't want the only tangible things of her presence to be a stick with two pink lines on it. A name, necklace and rose seemed more honoring somehow.
Hebrews 11:1 "Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the presence of things unseen."

I have faith and assurance that I will see her again, though for now, Hope is unseen.

My garden is beautiful right now. I was so proud of those tiny little plants I put in last summer, and our babying them has paid off. I bought the $5 plants instead of the $20 bigger plants and just prayed that they wouldn't die. We had a couple of close calls with the day lillies, but they came back big. The first two pictures are what are garden looks like today,
and the bottom of two are of nine months ago.
It's absolutely overflowing with color with even more things growing in all the time. I LOVE my flowers. You can never have too many, and I love a garden where things overlap and go slightly wild and there is a riot of color. I rememebr growing up hating working in the garden and weeding was the worst of chores. But I used to love sitting at my Mom's house just looking at the flowers. Hunter (for now) LOVES working in the garden with me. He looks at all the new flowers, finds the ones that the bees most like, helps pick weeds, loves to help me plant. Maybe it's because we do just a little at a time, and it's somewhat fun because we discover new things everytime. I work in it several times a week, so there is never a ton to do each time.

I was checking the water fountain today and Hunter wanted to take this picture.

This is our first tomato. Hunter was very proud and ate it. He hates tomatos, but the fact that they are growing on OUR bushes makes them tastey I guess, because he eats these. Half of what he doesn't like is in his head I think anyways. Hunter goes out every morning and looks for a "new juicy tomato." He adds his own adjectives to everything, so the tomato are always called "juicy tomatos." We got our first big tomato today (we had just been so far getting them off of our cherry tomato bush). We ate it for dinner. Yummy.
Funny thing Hunter said: We were driving down the road and he said, "Oh look, Mommy, at those commissioners!" I could not for the life of me figure out what he was talking about or where he even heard the word "commissioners." He was really mad that he could make me understand what a "commissioner" was. Finally I figured it out. The big transformer towers that carry cable...those were his "commissioners."
My favorite part of the day, is when I put Hunter to bed and he wants me to "snuggle him." I lay down next to him and we chat about whatever he wants to chat about for about ten minutes. It's so sweet, and we do some good talking then. Sometimes serious. Sometimes silly. And I love it.
I had a good dream last night about Tone. He was teaching me how to fly for some reason, and I was loving watching him do what he does. You know the girly crushes you get when you're younger and when "that person" just looks at you, your heart beats really fast, and everything about "that person" is perfect? Well, he was "that person" in my dream, and I felt so secure that he knew what he was doing, so impressed, a little intimidated, and on cloud nine to be with him with his full attention. Anyways, I think it was because lately, I have felt that way when I'm not in a dream. Tone has been so giving, thoughtful, and serving so selflessly at home, that I really feel that at times I am undeserving, and when his full attention is on me, I'm on cloud nine. Sometimes I think that I am more in-love than the day we married. The day you marry, you have hope for the future. When the future with that person is full of selflessness, then you know what that love really is.

1 comment:

  1. I like your remembrance of Hope. Very comforting. And I love your garden! It's beautiful as are you and your lovely family!! FYI - I'm so glad you love Fresno weather, but some of us really do love Salinas weather too!! Ha! I love you!