Aug 21, 2008

A Funk

A funk. That's what I'm in....for no real reason...nor is it anyone's fault. So I am sitting here venting with my peanut MM's which seems to be theraputic. Maybe it's because Tone is gone on a five day trip after only seeing him for like half a day because I chose to be in Salinas for the one day he was off this last week. Maybe it's because I bought a beautiful picture to go in my living room for my birthday and can't get it to look right. (Mom, I will post pics of it later, I am still fiddling with the frames around it). Maybe it's because I miss friends. I drove to Salinas on Sunday (almost three hours) to make a friend's wedding shower (which all of my best friends were at), but missed most of it. I had to teach Sunday School that morning and SOME parents have nothing better to do than to stand around and forget their kids, and I had to take my kids because (shocker) Tone was working, and traffic was really bad. I had to pull over twice. Once for a food stop, and once because Ainsley dropped a chicken nugget into Hunter's seat and it went down his pant leg and he started screaming. Or maybe sometimes the constant demands and interruptions of life themselves can put me in a funk because I have had zero time for me. For weeks. When Tone's home it means it's his time as well as the kids. I tried reading a book last night and after 10 minutes I felt jumpy. I know it's because that's the most consentration I've been able to get on something before I get interrupted. Don't get me wrong. I love doing stuff with my kids and playing and teaching them and doing the mommy thing. It's just.....I'm not even sure. Maybe Little Miss Independent needs to start asking for a little me time. But I feel guilty doing that. See, all of this is my fault anyways, and it's pretty petty.

The miscarriage has been on the brain a LOT this week. It has really bummed me out (again). I think it's because we aren't going to try again. I would be 20 weeks. Halfway. It keeps surprising me how much I really really wanted it. I'm trying to just let it go, but it's proving to be hard for me. Yesterday was a really bad day especially for that.
Also, my little etsy store is not taking off so that's been a bit frustrating. I've just been praying about it. The verse comes to mind, "unless the Lord builds the house, they labor in vain." Part of the reason that I started it was so that we would have an easier time tithing and giving to others. We don't have any extra on one income. But maybe we'll have to rethink how to better do that.....I know tithing shouldn't be out of your "extra" anyways so to speak.
Hunter has been great this week so it's not because of him. We had a huge "showdown" a couple weeks ago that lasted the whole day which ended in him staying in his room for the whole day and some favorite toys being taken away. So for the last two weeks he's been as good as gold. So kind to those around him and with a good attitude. His new phrase of the week is, "Uh Huh, I sure am!" or "that sure is!"
In contrast, Ainsley has not been great. She has been wanting to take Hunter's toys, fuss for food all the time, throw temper tantrums when Hunter gets attention, etc, etc. She says, "MAMA!" all the time. It's cute, but I'm getting tired at her yelling it at me to get what she wants. This morning I closed the office door. I was in my bedroom and I heard her yelling for me. She was yelling at the office door. She looked surprised when I came around the corner. She thought for sure I had shut her out. She has learned a TON of new words this week. She learned, "camera", "Ba-booo" (book), "snack", "Grandad", to name a few. I am tired of reading books to her. I love reading books to my kids, but she hands me the book saying "ba-booo!" and then gets in my lap, reads one page, gets out of my lap, I put the book down, she gets it back, says "ba-booo" and it starts all over again. It gets old.
BUT......drum roll........I put a barrette in her hair today for the first time! Mind you, it's as small as they come, but it stayed in and she left it there. Yay for microscopic strands of hair! I even took a picture. Can you see it, can you see it????!!!!

Hunter rode his bike around today very proud that he could peddle. Took him long enough! Yes, I left the tag on the front from a year ago. It's hard to get off and so I never have. I'm that lame.

Another adventure today was that we went to the dollar store, the grocery store, the post office, and the cell phone store. Mind you these were mostly all in the same parking lot, so I'm not that much of a super mom. The kids were GREAT! Happy and quiet the whole time. Hunter found this hat at the dollar store. He put it on and jumped out at me from behind the aisle. I laughed my head off. I let him get it because he loved it so much. (Don't look at the background. My house was spotless yesterday....I don't really know what happened today.....)

For the visit in to Salinas this last Sunday, I put Ainsley in this sweet little dress. She is ADORABLE in it and I had to get a picture on our way out the door. The best laid plans.....look at Hunter. Even if she had felt like cooperating (which she didn't because there was a loud construction truck across the street), Hunter wouldn't have allowed it. Look at him in every shot. Good grief! Yelling at him to get out of the picture just made him more determined to get in it and be silly.

He loves to get his own water. I had to get this shot because of his pants. Poor kid. Nothing ever stays up. Hahahaha.

Yet another mess Hunter did not do. How she opened the can of baby formula (which she doesn't use any more so I don't know why I still have it), and spread it around the floor so much beats me. Apparently Hunter tried to get his own water too and then thought why not try mixing her a bottle? So the floor had water all over it. Ever try to mop up sticky powered formula. Yeah. It wasn't that fun. Look at her though. "What Mom? I've just been sitting here innocently drinking my juice!" All the pictures I have of this have her sitting with a blank innocent face or a big smile. No remorse at all. None.

I took a video of her newly developed walking skills from this week. She can walk across the living room now. Not very masterfully as you can see, but's a start. You can see in the video she also says "uh uh" and shakes her head when she disagrees with you. It's funny when she does that.

She has also learned to do the "Miss America" wave and say "hi" this week. To everyone. Every store we went into today. Every person we walked by today. They were all blessed by little Miss Priss' wave. They all thought it was cute. I guess she's too young to talk to about "stanger danger."

Well, that's the end of my boo hoo pity party, and I feel good. So good in fact, I think I can put away the MM bag. I'm such a sad sack.

1 comment:

  1. You are not a sad sack. If anything, I am a sad sack since I just posted a blog about how much I hate cars and how much money I've spent because of mine lately. I should be happy I even have a car and have the money to spend on it.

    Anyhoo, if you do ever get any time just for you and care to make a little trip down to San Jose, you are always welcome to spend as much time here with me at my apartment. We could window shop at Valley Fair or get Swedish meatballs at Ikea. My apartment isn't very kid friendly, but my favorite BP is always welcome.