Oct 30, 2013

From Where I've Been

I haven't posted since the beginning of the month when I posted a fall photo dump of all the fallish things that had been on my mind.  However, soon after that post we flew to Hawaii for two weeks and all thoughts of fall fled my mind for a couple of weeks.  Or rather we tried to fly to Hawaii, but being that we fly standby we had five days of not making flights and had other adventures like a trip to Vegas in between....but that's another story.  In all, we did manage to spend nine nights there after all.  We just got back.

We have taken the kids there before but Tessa was just a few months old last time.  This time she got to experience it all for herself as well.  I have so many photos that I will post later, most likely, well maybe, because everyone loves seeing other people's vacation pictures, right?

I think what is most on mind right now to post about is the fact that I was reintroduced to Tessa and the joy that she is.  Which really sounds strange since I am a stay-at-home mom.  I have to say though, that this kid has, in the past, had the tendency to suck me dry.

That sounds aweful to say...out loud...in public.  But that fact does not have anything to do with the deepness of my love.  It has to do with how my personality meshes with that of Tessa's.

I actually don't know how to put this.  Tessa's first year was a stressful blur as she was a colicky, needy baby.   She was still super high-strung and needy the next year and I adored her and constantly felt stressed by her in a confusing jumble of emotions.  Then last year, I went to work and missed a lot of her and felt the pang of separation greatly.  This year, we are getting back into the swing of things around here at the house, and at three, Tessa has definitely come into her own.  I thoroughly enjoyed her this trip.  Every bit of her without feeling stressed out by her....and that may have just been the first time.

Tessa has a stubborn, loud and demanding and completely endearing personality.  More and more over the summer, I have grown more in love with the little person she is becoming as parts of her personality and mannerisms unfold.  It's a funny thing about love.  It begins wide and grows deeper.

This one morning in Hawaii, I woke up and our window over the bed faces the sunrise.

Tessa was in a little bed by ours and she always woke up first.  But this time I beat her by a couple of minutes.  I watched the sunrise and then her sleepy little head popped up next to me.  I hauled her into bed next to me and we watched it together, totally delighted with the bright morning colors.  That's the thing about Tessa.  She will always let you know how she feels.  Her giggle is infectious, she gets easily embarrassed and runs to hide in my arms, her nose wrinkles in disgust as she makes a little "tsk" sound, she shrieks with anger, she keeps her face very straight when she does not agree with you as if a sign of emotion is a loss for her.  She's got an extremely crazy and bold side.

 One day we went to this beach with crashing waves and a strong undertow.  The surfers were out and only adults were brave enough to swim the waves....and Tessa.  She shrieked as the waves pulled at her legs and tried to sweep her out.  Tone and I just held on to the back of her life vest and let her body surf the waves.  She thought that beach was the BEST fun.  The people around us were very entertained by this bold little three year old who thought strong waves were so so fun.

She has serious thrill issues.

Oh Tessa.  From where I've been with you to now, I am just really delighted to get to be your Momma. I'll be sad when your cute chubby arms no longer fling themselves around my neck in a death grip with the strong command to "tickle me Momma!!!"  She's always draping herself aggressively over me in her enthusiastic display of love and affection.  
I want to bottle up her little three year old self forever.
Except that four was always a favorite age with the other two....I'll bet four will be pretty delightful too.

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